Critics praise the lavish costumes and photography, but say some performances would get 'drummed out of a school play.'
By Kara Warner
Luke Evans, Ray Stevenson and Matthew Macfadyen in "The Three Musketeers"
Photo: 20th Century Fox
Back in September, when MTV News caught up with "The Three Musketeers" director Paul W.S. Anderson, he promised audiences a swashbuckling good time when his latest movie hits theaters. Now that its release date is finally here, fans can judge it for themselves.
Based on the beloved and familiar tale of adventure, intrigue and that famous "All for one, and one for all" motto, the film features an ensemble cast: Logan Lerman, Christoph Waltz, Milla Jovovich, Orlando Bloom, Ray Stevenson, Matthew Macfadyen, Luke Evans, Juno Temple, James Corden and Mads Mikkelsen.
Critics seem to enjoy the film's just-for-fun factor and hi-tech visuals — especially the ornate costumes. Speaking to the performances and continuity, however, it seems the critical collective found some aspects lacking in those departments.
Without further ado, let's unsheathe our swords and swashbuckle our way through "The Three Musketeers" reviews:
The Remake vs. the Dumas Original "It is absolutely, intensely and resolutely daft. For some reason, Anderson and his scripters Alex Litvak and Andrew Davies decided that the one thing the novels were missing was huge f---ing airships. With machine guns. And flame-throwers. Also, it's not enough that Athos (Macfadyen, moody), Aramis (Evans, cool) and Porthos (Stevenson, big) be Musketeers. They must also be an 18th-century blend of Ethan Hunt, James Bond and Batman who have to tackle OTT, Indiana Jones-style deathtraps. Meanwhile, why go to Dumas for your zings, when you can just plunder other movies? One entire exchange is lifted from 'A Fistful of Dollars,' and 'Princess Bride' scribe William Goldman might want to be checking his pockets. Elsewhere, Lerman's D'Artagnan is a smug, charmless little creep, James Corden's Planchet squeezes out 'comic relief' like he's constipated." — Dan Jolin, Empire
The Performances "Previously reliable actors such as Christoph Waltz (as the scheming Cardinal Richelieu), Matthew MacFadyen (as the disillusioned musketeer Athos) and Mads Mikkelsen (as the one-eyed Rochefort) seem content to take the money and look vaguely embarrassed. Some inferior thesps, such as Logan Lerman (a colorless, surfer-dude D'Artagnan), the director's wife Milla Jovovich (vapid when she should be mysterious) and Orlando Bloom (a useless drip as the dastardly Buckingham) give performances that would get them drummed out of a school play. Saving graces include the lavish costumes, widescreen photography and French architecture, even though the film was shot in Germany." — Chris Tookey, Daily Mail
The Visuals "For an action film, there's an awful lot of foppish discussion about clothes going on. But what glorious clothes they are. Pierre-Yves Gayraud's exquisitely detailed outfits steal scene after scene, in particular the women's gowns, all intricate silk brocades shot through with metallic threads and glinting like jewels. Glen MacPherson's digital lensing has been balanced in post in such a way to let the electric blues on the king's guards' uniforms pop just a bit more intensely, especially in the many bright, sunlit rooms (a mix of Bavarian locations and sets at Berlin's Studio Babelsberg) deployed for the palace scenes. The use of 3D rather limits the fluidity of the action sequences, which ought to be Anderson's strong suit, but it does nothing but favors for Paul Denham Austerberry's rococo production design." — Leslie Felperin, Variety
The Final Word, Pro-Con-Pro Style "Director Paul W.S. Anderson's film is far from perfect but there's plenty to enjoy in this occasionally bonkers remake. But it begins to buckle under the sheer number of characters. From Orlando Bloom's villainous Buckingham to Milla Jovoich's devious Milady to James Corden's comical Planchet there are about five too many and they've all got more lines than the heroes. The musketeers are reduced to supporting characters in their own movie. Clearly this is trying to grab a slice of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' pie and, while not as polished as 'Stranger Tides,' this is more fun. The sequel-baiting end may be a bit optimistic though." — Alex Zane, the Sun
"What it lacks in abundance, alas, is élan, panache or joie de vivre. Instead, a series of over-cooked set pieces (an opening raid on a Venice vault, a dirigible face-off above Notre Dame) turn what might have been a zesty frolic into one huge, lumbering behemoth. Who cares if the Musketeers retrieve the diamond necklace on which the marriage and security of France's callow young king (Freddie Fox) depends? Not us, and not Anderson either, the 'Resident Evil' director seeming more concerned with giving wife Jovovich extra scenes and setting up a sequel few will hanker for. All for one maybe, but one for all? Not quite. Although starry, lavish and superficially spectacular, this version of the perennial old favourite isn't likely to endure." — Neil Smith, Total Film
"We know we shouldn't have, but we enjoyed this. For, amid the guilty pleasures of the ludicrous 'war machines' and Orlando Bloom's even more ludicrous hairdo (as spaniel/fox/Lesley Phillips-hybrid Buckingham) there are some guiltless ones in the traditionally choreographed fencing, including a superb climactic cathedral-roof duel between Lerman's D'Artagnan and Mads Mikkelsen's nefarious Rochefort. Also, l'il D aside, the Musketeers are well cast, and enjoy an easy chemistry — enough for us to actually not dread the likelihood of a sequel. Actually, sod it: we'd look forward to the sequel. Even if it means more airships." — Dan Jolin, Empire
Check out everything we've got on "The Three Musketeers."
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